What Should vs What Is


There are many people who are unhappy about their circumstances in life, whether professional or personal. Some of these people choose to look at the reality of the situation and identify what they can do to get themselves into a better place. However there are many others who choose to take a different approach.  Are you one of those people who focuses on what should be rather than dealing with what your reality happens to be?

I believe that one of our secrets to success is the ability to deal with our reality rather than focusing on and thinking about how we wish things were. Choosing to spend our time worried and complaining about the way that things should be rather than focusing on what is, causes more pain and suffering than benefit.

In life we have to be prepared to deal with the reality of our situation. We can either accept things the way they are or we can change them. If we cannot change things then we have to make the decision whether we can live with it as it is or whether we are going to remove ourselves from the situation. I have often worked with my programme participants to help them identify the ways that they can put this mindset into practice.

In many organizations, where individuals at various levels feel powerless to effect the changes that they want, it is important for them to see the reality of their situation because this helps them identify realistic ways to cope with their reality. Wishing for anyone else to be different than they are, is not an effective way for you to be successful because it is outside of your control. Your only choice is to do the best that you can and take the choices that are available to you and within your sphere of control.

In the end, this comes down to your mindset and your attitude. You get to decide how you are going to look at the world around you and whether you are going to take action to change things or get better at accepting what is.


Marjorie Wharton is a trainer, facilitator and coach who works with individuals and organizations to help them improve their performance.  She is based at the Sagicor Cave Hill School of Business in Barbados. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn.  For more of her writing visit https://marjoriewharton.live

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