Success is an individual thing. Each person has their own definition of what it means to be successful. However, while the end point varies, most people want to have some version of success that allows them to feel whole, at ease in their own skin and happy with their situation in life, whatever it may be. The following are five steps that can help us get there.
- Stop complaining.
Here is the big secret that some people may not want to tell you. Chances are, that no one is interested in listening. Most people have their own stuff they are trying to sort out. Most people have their own problems or issues that they are working through in their heads. When we are caught up in talking about ourselves, we sometimes miss the opportunity to learn something or to help someone. This does not mean that you do not have the right to feel bad about something. Rather it means that you should not dwell in that negativity. Know that the bad feelings will not last and be prepared for when you are ready to step into a positive place.
One strategy could be for you to think with gratitude about what you have rather than what may be missing. Also, identify what action you can take to create the change you need. Furthermore, have you thought about helping someone else?
It is becoming a more well-known fact that helping others brings just as much satisfaction to the one being helped as to the one giving the assistance. So getting to a place where you can stop complaining, take action to change the things that you can and then move on to helping someone else who needs it, is a good strategy for improving your success mindset.
- Be the change you want to see.
If you want the world to be a nicer place for everyone, you need to start with you. You start by being nicer to those around you. It is a known fact that you cannot change anyone other than yourself. The best you can hope for is to inspire or influence others. However, in the end, they will make the decision whether or not to change their behavior. Therefore, practicing the behavior or attitude that you would like to see, is an ideal way to ensure that it starts happening and it also provides an example that someone else might choose to follow.
- The opinions of other people do not matter.
Stop letting what other people think about you determine how you feel about yourself or how you choose to live your life. You are the only one who gets to decide who you are going to be. What others say about you does not matter. No matter who says it, if it is something that is not in keeping with your ideas about you and your life, you need to start seeing it as just a suggestion. With that perspective, you then have the power to choose whether you accept it, discard it or just ignore it.
- Start small and build up from there.
The hardest thing in life is to be willing to take a step that takes us out of our comfort zone. However, there is a new strategy that I suggest we all can consider to help us get started. When we are dealing with big tasks or big dreams and it seems too overwhelming for us to even start, we can adopt a new approach. It’s called prototyping. Researchers and inventors use the process to help them achieve big idea breakthroughs. They usually start with something small, just to test whether the idea has merit or not. Then depending on the results they learn and test again. This process gets repeated until they have enough skill and experience to build the new invention. If we use this approach, it would make our big dream projects seem a lot more manageable.
- Don’t stop just because you’re afraid.
Everybody has some kind of fear or worry about something. However, most successful people have learned to take action in spite of it. We all need to accept that fear comes and we get nervous or anxious or unsure. That’s normal. We should also see that it is a part of the process rather than a deterrent. It means that we are trying something new which matters to us. We are excited and all our senses are engaged to move forward. It may not be easy to make this shift in mindset but it is necessary if we are going to get to the place where we are prepared to achieve and maintain success.
Marjorie Wharton is a trainer, facilitator and coach who works with individuals and organizations to help them improve their performance. She is based at the Sagicor Cave Hill School of Business in Barbados. For more of her writing visit https://marjoriewharton.live