Monday Motivation: Three Things to Stop Saying

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Research is consistently showing us the power of what we say and think.  There are numerous examples of successful people who show us that our thoughts and our words create our reality. In spite of this, many of us still do not pay attention to what we think and say. In particular, we often have statement and phrases that we use as guiding philosophies which do not serve us in a positive way and may even create self limiting beliefs for us. The following are three phrases that I think we all need to drop from our vocabulary.

  • Stop #1: It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.

That is not true; not one little bit. It always matters whether you win or lose.  No winner ever walked away from a competition where they gave their all and felt like the victory didn’t matter.  It may not be what’s most important to them but it serves as a measure of high performance and it can ultimately lead to future reward.

In the same vein, it always matters to the person who did not win.  Either they will learn the lesson or they will be annoyed at their loss. So for most of us, the outcome matters just as much as the process.  The level of effort you put into preparing, the process you go through while engaging in the activity and the outcome you achieve at the end, all matter to the person who is involved.

  • Stop #2: I don’t have the time to do it.

Yes you do. We all have the time to do everything that we consider important. For most of us, we have just chosen to do something else. Usually it is something that we consider to be more important. Sometimes we don’t want to admit that. However, even if you think it will upset others, you should be willing to admit to yourself. So instead of complaining about how little time you have, be honest and acknowledge that you would prefer to do something else. That way, you will stop beating yourself up, feeling guilty or setting yourself up with false promises.

When you are willing to do this, then you can honestly analyze what is really most important to you and you can decide whether you are satisfied with the decisions you are making about how to use your time.  If you are happy with it, then that is great. Embrace it and roll on.  If you are not, change it. You have the power to decide how you will use your time. Decide based on what matters most in the long term.

  • Stop #3: I will do it tomorrow instead.

Many people are daunted by new actions that they are required to take, especially if those actions make them feel uncomfortable.  It can be difficult to push yourself to do what needs to be done.

However it is important that we push ourselves to take the action in spite of how we feel.  Don’t put off for tomorrow what we know we need to do today.  Take action now, even if it is just something small to start.  Once we get started, the rest will come.


Marjorie Wharton is a trainer, facilitator and coach who works with individuals and organizations to help them improve their performance.  She is based at the Sagicor Cave Hill School of Business in Barbados.  For more of her writing visit






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